Cats That Cry When Left Alone — 7 Key Strategies to Reduce Separation Anxiety

Brain & CognitionTop PicksMeongsiljang Veterinary Advisory Board

Feline separation anxiety is a behavioral disorder in which a cat exhibits severe psychological stress responses whenever the owner is away. What’s truly important to recognize is that many cats suffer from this condition for far too long because of the common misconception that cats are naturally independent.

What Is Feline Separation Anxiety?

Feline separation anxiety is a behavioral issue in which a cat that has formed a strong bond with its caregiver repeatedly exhibits emotional stress responses such as anxiety, fear, and frustration when left alone. Cats are generally more independent than dogs and tend to cope relatively well with being alone. However, this does not mean they are entirely immune to separation-related issues. In fact, the most critical point is that their signs are often subtle and easily overlooked. If you notice recurring behaviors such as excessive grooming, inappropriate elimination, changes in appetite, or hiding for longer periods than usual when left alone, you should consider the possibility of separation-related problems.

Separation Anxiety Symptom Checklist

Excessive grooming: Repeatedly licking specific areas, leading to hair loss and skin inflammation.

Eliminating outside the litter box: Defecating or urinating in places other than the designated area due to stress.

Excessive vocalization: Howling loudly or continuously, especially before and after the owner leaves.

Changes in appetite: Exhibiting changes in eating habits, such as barely eating when the owner is absent.

Destructive and scratching behaviors: Scratching or chewing furniture, doors, or curtains more intensely than usual.

Hiding: Concealing themselves in closets or under beds and staying hidden longer than usual.

If these signs appear repeatedly when your pet is alone, we recommend ruling out pain or other internal medical conditions first, and then consulting a veterinary behavior specialist.

When to Visit the Vet Immediately

If your pet’s skin is raw or bleeding from excessive grooming, if they’ve barely eaten or drunk anything for more than 48 hours, or if they suddenly display aggression or self-harming behavior, please visit a veterinary clinic immediately. These signs may indicate an underlying medical condition or pain rather than separation anxiety.

BEST 1 — Desensitization and Counterconditioning Training

The most evidence-based approach, as outlined in veterinary behavior textbooks, is combining desensitization with counterconditioning. Desensitization involves repeatedly exposing your pet to "going-out cues," such as picking up keys or putting on shoes, without actually leaving, to help neutralize the stimulus. Counterconditioning pairs these same cues with positive rewards, like treats or toys, to replace anxiety with a positive expectation. Start with very short departures of just five seconds and gradually increase the duration over several weeks.

A pet owner playing with their cat using toys

BEST 2 — Environmental Enrichment

This approach focuses on designing an environment that helps your cat fill alone time with positive experiences.

Cat trees and window perches: Elevated spots and views of the outdoors satisfy your cat’s natural urge to observe while providing a sense of security.

Puzzle feeders and timed dispensers: These turn mealtime into active behaviors like foraging and licking.

Scratching posts: These allow your cat to express the natural urge to scratch, helping to reduce stress.

Hiding spots (safe zones): Providing secure retreats helps lower anxiety by ensuring your cat has a place to feel safe.

Setting out a timed feeder or puzzle toy about 30 minutes before you leave can help redirect your cat’s attention away from your departure and toward engaging activities.

BEST 3 — Using Pheromone Products and Supportive Supplements

These are supportive aids that can be helpful when used alongside behavior modification. Synthetic feline facial pheromone products (F3 fraction): Available as plug-in diffusers and sprays, these are commonly known as pheromone products. Research and clinical reports suggest they can help cats adapt to unfamiliar environments and reduce travel-related stress. Apply them to key areas such as food and water bowls, litter boxes, and resting spots, but do not spray them directly on the cat. Supplements for calming purposes: While many products are available on the market, their efficacy has not yet been sufficiently proven to the standard required by veterinary textbooks. Therefore, it is essential to consult your veterinarian before use to confirm suitability. No single supportive aid should be expected to provide a complete cure on its own; rather, they serve to assist with behavior modification.

Cat pheromone diffuser plugged into the wall

BEST 4 & 5 — Medication and Referral to a Specialist

If behavioral modification alone doesn’t lead to improvement over a sufficient period, or if symptoms are severe, consider combining it with veterinarian-prescribed medication.

Situational medications: These are short-term supportive drugs used just before predictable triggers, such as travel or outings.

Long-term maintenance medications: These include serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs, etc.) and are used for chronic separation anxiety. It may take several weeks for the medication to take full effect.

The choice of medication and dosage should be determined by a veterinarian based on your pet’s weight, overall health, and any underlying conditions. When starting a new medication, it’s best to monitor for side effects at short intervals. Never give human medications to your pet without veterinary guidance.

A veterinarian examining a cat at an animal hospital

Actions to Absolutely Avoid

Punishing or scolding your pet simply for being alone can actually worsen their anxiety. Similarly, overly enthusiastic greetings upon your return or prolonged goodbyes before leaving can inadvertently teach them that departures and arrivals are major events, which may exacerbate the problem. Confining them in a cage as a default solution can also increase stress.

How to Choose Based on Your Situation

If symptoms are mild: Start with environmental enrichment and desensitization and counterconditioning training. This approach is cost-effective and can lead to long-term, fundamental improvement. If symptoms are severe or show no improvement after six weeks: Add pheromone products and consult your veterinarian about combining them with medication. If you have limited time for training: Try environmental modifications such as puzzle feeders and cat trees, along with pheromone diffusers, first. For senior cats: Underlying medical conditions or pain may be present, so a health checkup should precede any behavioral modification.

A cat lounging comfortably on a cat tower by the window.

Reviewed by a veterinarian

Dr. Tony — Punnawat Phongkittirak

Veterinarian

A veterinarian who majored in veterinary medicine at Khon Kaen University, Thailand, and completed the IVSA program at North Carolina State University in the United States. Drawing on clinical experience at animal hospitals, he works in the pet healthcare field and is dedicated to building a digital care environment that connects pet parents with veterinarians.

Frequently Asked Questions

Cats are naturally independent, so don’t they lack separation anxiety?

That’s only half true. It’s true that cats are naturally more independent than dogs and generally handle being alone better. However, they’re not completely immune to separation anxiety; if a strong bond forms with their owner, they can experience separation-related issues. The signs are often subtle, though, so they’re easy to overlook.

Will adopting another cat help ease my cat’s separation anxiety?

Not necessarily. In fact, the stress of introducing a new cat could worsen the symptoms. It’s important to observe the social dynamics between the cats, and your first priority should be calming your current cat’s anxiety before bringing in a new one.

How long does desensitization training take?

Every cat is different. Desensitization starts at a very low intensity that doesn’t trigger a reaction, then gradually increases the intensity, duration, and proximity only after the cat has stabilized at each step. Rushing the process can backfire, so it’s important to build up small successes slowly.

How can you tell the difference between separation anxiety and simple boredom?

If symptoms only appear when the pet is left alone, and they repeatedly show extreme excitement or clinginess upon your return, separation anxiety is likely. In contrast, simple boredom or restlessness can usually be relieved relatively easily through play and environmental enrichment.

Is it okay to talk to my cat remotely through a CCTV camera when they’re alone?

CCTV can be a helpful tool for identifying specific triggers—such as the arrival of mail—and observing whether your cat reacts immediately after you leave. However, it’s best to avoid remote interventions like speaking to or making sounds at your cat, as these can inadvertently increase stimulation and anxiety.

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References

[1] Veterinary Guide to Preventing Behavior Problems in Dogs and Cats, Wiley-Blackwell (counterconditioning, desensitization chapters)

[2] Introduction to Animal Behavior and Veterinary Behavioral Medicine, Wiley-Blackwell (Ch.5 Counterconditioning; Ch.15 Practice Departures; Ch.17 Systematic Desensitization)